20 things we have learnt from hollywood
  • 1. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.

    2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets which reach up to armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

    3. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

    4. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    5. Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

    6. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right continuously.

    7. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

    8. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    9. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

    10. Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

    11. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

    12. Extremely beautiful and intelligent women are likely to become prostitutes or welders.

    13. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

    14. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

    15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their total opposite.

    16. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

    17. Radiation causes interesting mutations - not to your future children but to you, right there and then.

    18. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

    19. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

    20. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
  • i will be expcting that of nolly wood too
  • Now, that is one very funny collection.You have messed hollywood up.
  • thats hollywood..................if it ain't holly you'll never get the wood......
  • Oh God. I'm reading these all over again after ages and my ribs are aching. :)
  • not so funny....
  • yeah like you need to upgrade your sense of humor
  • bros y r u hatin...dis tins funny
  • hope you know who you talking too sha .....i ain't hating you should point the finger very well to who you are talking too cos people dey text slaps from where ever dem dey
  • guess what.... just realized thats my baby sister...!!!!! as in the "ife_mary" user...lol...
  • ....lol.... am still laughing mehn.....am sure she already knew it was me...i'm the only one in the world she calls 'bros' (only when she wants to abuse me)
  • mmmm....you lil sis?..............ok
  • i'm for real.... you dont believe me? she's in covenant uni now (and has limited access to the internet), thats why she's not a frequent poster...
  • meaning..........
  • ...dunno...just thought that might help make you believe
  • ok.......i see, but its not bad to have your sister back you up in here...........i understand the plot
  • ...:D... you see, i'm in kano, she's in lagos, so it was weird to see her on the same forum.....

    i had a room mate from uni who i also met here... him and tonero were already at each others neck when i came in to seperate and i saw him use a familiar phrase! He's the one that started that 'kiss and tell' thread.
  • "folasanwo" said:
    ...:D... you see, i'm in kano, she's in lagos, so it was weird to see her on the same forum.....

    i had a room mate from uni who i also met here... him and tonero were already at each others neck when i came in to seperate and i saw him use a familiar phrase! He's the one that started that 'kiss and tell' thread.


    Thats cool.
  • Ol' boy. Tell your sister make she show sharp sharp o. Because if I join Ashewo train now, una go tear me to pieces.
  • guy...looking at your signature, i would do any and every thing humanly possible to protect my ONLY younger sister from you...lol.... she's in session, and only goes online for assignments (well, thats what she told me last time until i caught her on messenger..lol)
  • why not you do your own assignment.....guess she wanted to flex a lil bit.........but guy she fine?..............na question oh..............lol
  • "jonneybrains" said:
    why not you do your own assignment.....guess she wanted to flex a lil bit.........but guy she fine?..............na question oh..............lol

    ?????#@$@$?@#$23432
  • talk well guy.............naquestion i ask......wetin dey there........ 8)

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