LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Wanna crack someone's ribs, post in here. Take time to read what other have posted too. Nigerian jokes are highly coveted and appreciated.

Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:17 pm

Last post of the previous page :
the guy on the ground, the one holding the players shorts................but right now him don get him punishment for life no body go forget this day...............no further question :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Nigerianz dont need another ruler but a leader
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby henriatha lawrence » Tue Apr 07, 2009 1:11 pm

This one tire me oooooooo :lol: :lol:
winners dont quit and quitters are loosers
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby adogain » Mon Apr 13, 2009 9:32 am

@ dave
u seem to have a lot of info on women and relationship. hope you make goo use of them all.
Dont go knocking on a door when u are afraid of going in!!!!!!!

Have a great business idea? Turn it into a viable business plan that appeals to investors and venture capitalists @ Intercamp Consulting
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:03 am

na criminals dey get experience pass teachers
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby drixie » Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:10 pm

jonneybrains wrote:na criminals dey get experience pass teachers



Did you type that upside down? I'm wondering why on earth you typed something reverse. :mrgreen:
Give me a place to stand and I shall move the earth

Nnamdi Azikiwe: "We need to forget our differences".
Ahmadu Bello: "No Zik, what we need to do is understand our differences"
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Thu Apr 16, 2009 12:34 pm

@ drixie
your lecturers during your programming class in the university, how many of them knows what you know now?
they know the principles but really don't have the practical idea of what they teach.
most of them na product of the old school and the rate they chase money they hardly have the time to do some practicals for them selves.

sorry for some of them as them go run dey go do masters while the younger generation are the real masters........na our fault, na globalization do am now
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby henriatha lawrence » Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:50 pm

jonney i don talk say u be coach abi na technical adviser ?
winners dont quit and quitters are loosers
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:34 pm

since e don tay wey i talk sense i say make i show small
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby henriatha lawrence » Wed Apr 22, 2009 3:00 pm

its good sha cos once a criminal is always a criminal.
show them brain
winners dont quit and quitters are loosers
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby daveadofu » Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:24 pm

Who is the once crime-inal ?
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Sat Apr 25, 2009 10:03 am

you now dave abi you forget your past
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby henriatha lawrence » Wed Apr 29, 2009 11:35 am

wetin dey happen dave ? y u come dey 4get easily like dis :?:
winners dont quit and quitters are loosers
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby daveadofu » Tue May 05, 2009 5:28 pm

What you mean me? let me check my records, was i once a crime-inal? i will get back to you
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby daveadofu » Tue May 05, 2009 9:30 pm

ABOUT YOUR CELL

Would like to know if your mobile is original or not?!!

Type *#06#

After you enter the code you will see a new code contain 15 digits:

43 4 5 6 6 1 0 6 7 8 9 4 3 5

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 02 or 20 that mean it was Assembly on
Emirates which is very Bad quality :(

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 08 or 80 that mean it¢s manufactured
in Germany which is not bad

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 01 or 10 that mean it¢s manufactured in
Finland which is Good

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 00 that mean it was manufactured in
original factory which is the best Mobile Quality ...

IF the digit number Seven & Eight is 13 that mean it was Assembly on
Azerbaijan which is very Bad quality and very dangerous for health!!!

******
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby henriatha lawrence » Wed May 06, 2009 2:26 pm

Dave thank u for the information, that's y i'm seriously missing u.
winners dont quit and quitters are loosers
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Thu May 07, 2009 9:09 am

emirates........ol boy i don enter am :shock:
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby daveadofu » Thu May 07, 2009 10:30 pm

WISDOM FOR PROGRESS IN TIME OF MELTDOWN

How to Stay Free From Economic Melt Down

It is a reality that the world economic crisis or melt down affecting the great countries of the world is also happening in Naija.But the suprising news is that, the Melt down is not for every one;that is it does not affect every one, there are exemptions, especially for the children of God.

I want to share with you three things that will make you advance even in this melt down, cause the melt down will still last.Melt down or economic crisis is not new, it has been even in the Bible days.In the days of Abraham,in the days of Isaac, in the days of Joseph e.t.c. (I would have included Bible refrences,but some reasons i didn't.I will give them to you on request)
The steps are as follows:

1. EAT MODERATELY:give moderation to your taste for pleasure, caused the recession might still last.Proverbs 23:1-3.Note that inside every fruit is a seed, so draw a line between the fruit and the seed.Only eat what is necessary.Like i will humourously say, do not cook rice and beans together now.Do not give your mouth all that you can afford.
Be matured in handling your resources.Matured people places tomorrow above pleasure. Eccl 10:16-17

2. INVEST PRUDENTLY: always gather all your left overs,fragments and turn it into a capital to start with.Five things to note when investing include:

i. Invest inteligently and strategically, No matter how small your income, make a decision to save a certain percentage of your earnings as they come .Gen 47:23-27

ii. Invest Discretionally: psalms 112:5, set your priorities.Know what to do with your resources,defer pleasure as much as possibly to improve the well being of your business.

iii.Invest Boldly: be courageous to invest.The whole world is risky, no risk free zone.But success in life is directly proportional to the amount of risk you take.It takes courage to do again, something that have earlier failed.You will never find the next treasure in your search if you are not couragous

iv. Invest prayerfully: pray for devine guidiance according to your faith.Destroyer only have access to the product and not the process.Jeremiah 33:3.Devine guidiance shows you what to do per time.Devine guidiance made Isaac richer than the nation He lived in.Devine guidiance gave Jacob the first Hybrid breakthrough.Also read Deut. 8:18

v. Invest with Faith in the Covenant: invest with the covenant sense that "What so ever you lay your hands to do shall prosper"Covenant people work little and go to sleep to wake up to see result, but sinners labour and have sleepless night yet with poor result.The covenant works while you are asleep.Deut. 28:1- 14


3.GIVE GENEROUSLY: Giving is the security to your savings.Give without reserve.The Widow in the Bible gave her last meal to the prophet, and that secured for her meal ticket for the period the famine lasted.The prophet (Elijah)was sent to the widow to preserve her and her son not because He did not have where to eat.The woman was to eat her last meal and die.
Don't eat and die, rather give and live like the widow.There is a measure you are allowed to withhold, beyond which it becomes a toxin in your system (experiment it and eat 4 plates of beans to bed and tell me your experience tomorrow) Proverbs 11:24-25,proverbs 11: 28, 1 Tim. 6: 16.The more you give the happier you live. the hand of the giver is always on top of that of the receiver.
In the Kingdom, he that scattereth increases, proverbs 11: 22-25.Sow a seed into someones life by giving today.Dont say you don't have what to give, start with sharing your breakfast tomorrow.Give out those cloths you no longer use.Give out some of those you 10 suits or coat.

Another thing is how you give; give with joy.Wash and iron those clothes before you give it to the person.serve that food to the person in a neat covered plate.put that money into a neat envelop before you give him, polish those shoes before giving them to her.and they will appreciate it more.

May the almighty God sustain you and advance you greatly even in this economic melt down.And as people are selling to survive, you will be buying from them, as they are borrowing ,you will be lending to them
Remain Blessed and Favoured.
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby henriatha lawrence » Fri May 08, 2009 3:31 pm

good one i think
winners dont quit and quitters are loosers
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Mon May 11, 2009 11:13 am

the giving part is the only thing i will follow
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby jonneybrains » Mon May 11, 2009 11:16 am

the giving part is the only thing i will follow...........giving all the love i can offer
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Re: LAUGH IT OFF OR LEARN FROM IT.

Postby henriatha lawrence » Mon May 11, 2009 5:02 pm

which love are u talking about, don't let me expose u here.
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